The storyline

I know there's that stupid saying of not talking about it, but I'm the kind of person who needs to talk about my ideas. Even if it is just to myself! :P

They say "write what you know" and here's what I know:

I'm 22 years old, and I've been in love twice. I've loved and had crushes, but I've only ever been in love twice. Once when I was a child still, I was 7, he was 8 and I was in love with him until I met the other guy. I was still a child then, in so many ways; I was 15 going on 16 and he was 16 going on 17. The first guy was in love with me too. The second one... He'll always be the one that could have been, or the one that got away.

So, how can I write anything about being in love, or finding love, or falling in love, when it's been so many years? The only thing still fresh in my mind is the nerves I experience everytime I go anywhere I shared with him; the second guy. When I pick up my guitar or when I walk past out old 'high school', it's right there in the front of my mind and it's making me wonder if I'll ever truly be over him.

Both times it was love at first sight. But that's were the similarities end.

So why on earth am I telling you all this? I have a good reason, promise.

Before I left for college I went to the city where we went to school, one last time, hoping maybe I'd see him. I didn't. But I had a lovely time with my friends, having dinner, going shopping, laughing and just being. It's what we do when we get together. When I went home, I was disappointed and relieved. And that's where the story is. The anticipation of seeing someone you love/used to love, as well as the dread mixed with relief when it doesn't come through. My story is the story of a girl, going home for the first time in a long time, and having to face her friends and the idea of the guy she used to be in love with. All the memories come back and it's all very emotional but through snappy conversation, colorful scenes and nice settings.

Now I just have to write it.

Stay sane,

Jen

"The first rule of short films is you do not speak about short films."

Lol. That defeats my purpose of this blog!

Stupid ideas and other silly things

At this particular moment all ideas I seem to spout for the looming final project feel a little like I would rather go get a tooth pulled out than take these ideas from script to screen. Yes. It's really that bad. I'm currently on my lunch break - I knew learning to eat quickly, but not too quickly would pay off one day - and I am struggling to get my head together long enough to have a proper idea. I have loads of ideas, really. But none of them are 15 pages long! And none of them will be able to make on no money and a crap camera! I'm a full time student with a full time internship and I will be getting zero capital for this adventure that my school insists I do. How not-awesome is that?

Okay, so it's not all bad! Promise.

I really want to do this movie. I want to prove to myself that I can do the photo, the editing, the sound as well as the script. Only thing I can't do is be in front of the camera at the same time. Which, to be honest, at this point in my life I just don't feel one bit like doing anyway. If you'd asked me three years ago, I'd have jumped on the chance. Today, well, not so much.

Anyway, back to where I was at. The final project.

I've been listening to music all day (Joseph Vincent, JDC, Sam Tsui, Kurt Schneider, Maddi Jane, Alex Goot) on youtube (thank you for existing!) while working, hoping that inspiration would strike. And it has. It's just the wrong kind!**

So here I am, forcing myself to write down my problems since we don't do the 'Penny for your thoughts' at work. Anyway. Maybe. Music. More music. That's usually the answer. Okay. Going to get some tea, then have a meeting and we'll see what the rest of the day brings.

I'll probably be back in a couple of hours to bitch about how I still don't have squat. Ain't life grand? :D In the meanwhile;

Stay sane,
Jenniefer


**There no such thing as the wrong kind of inspiration, but I knew what it is I need and this isn't it. I'll have to finish my book when I'm done with school, now is so not the time to waste time.

First blogs are the worst

Yanno why?

Because I always feel like I should introduce myself. You don't know me, I don't know you - I don't even know if there is a you! For all I know, I'm talking to myself here. And that's fine too. Because that means the ideas I bounce I bounce off myself and won't have to wonder if someone is going to think it's awesome and start spinning off on the same idea only make it way better. Or if someone is going to see that idea and think 'silly girl, like that's ever going to work' or worse...

I know irony and sarcasm can be completely lost when writing, so unless I say I am completely serious, always assume snarky comments are meant as snark and not honesty.

Uhm. Well. So I'm Jenniefer - yes, with an extra e in the middle - Andersson and I live in the south of Sweden; really south since I have half an hour to the south coast of Sweden (is it just me or does the south coast sound strange?).

I am currently in school, my senior year of college for all intents and purposes. Maybe I go back and finish up some other courses and get some kind of a proper degree once I'm done where I am, maybe I don't. We'll see what life has to offer!

For those out of the loop - possibly all of you! - I am a media student, which means I make movies and make sure they get made properly. I am mostly a producer, researcher and project-manager. Lately I've been working as a talent agent too, but it's exhausting in all the wrong ways, so I don't think that's something I'll be doing for the rest of my life.

I am going to stop ranting now, because I need to have lunch before my meetings and preferrably I need to squeeze in a couple of important calls too.

Stay sane,
Jenniefer